October 24, 2019

Keeping up when I can.

My friend Douglas King celebrated his 80th birthday on Saturday, October 19 with a lovely party at L'Atelier.  Only about 20 people in attendance, so I felt privileged to be invited.

Douglas has had a very interesting life and is still vital and engaged at 80.  He rides his bike everywhere he can, now lives on a narrow boat when he is in England, is still very involved in primary children's education and is building a primary school in Katugastota just over the river from where I live.

This is the venue.  L'Atelier is an 8 room guest house that the owner is trying to make into a bit of a cultural event hub.

These were pictures of Douglas over the years with explanations of the events depicted.

The food prepared by Douglas himself except for the vegetable balls.  

Making sure everything is hot.

Catching up.

These are the three teachers who will be the core of the teaching staff at the school Douglas is building.

The Birthday Boy, young as ever. 

Live entertainment provided by the Sri Lankan version of a Mariachi band.

From left to right:  Deanne Dallas, Douglas, Me, James Aitken.  

It has been raining unceasingly.  Even cold enough to need a blanket.

A swaddled Aya.

October 19, 2019

Apart from the trip to Anuradhapura and the weddings, things have been going pretty much as usual.  We have been getting a lot of rain including a couple of mega storms.  I have never seen so much rain fall so fast.  Of course, when you want the rain to fall, it never does, or at least not as heavily as you need.

One of our so called gardeners was here clearing the front bank of the innumerable vines that grow and choke out the plants your want to cultivate.  He accidentally stepped on the main water intake pipe for the entire property.  Thankfully, he broke it below the valve so that it was possible to close it off so that water was not gushing out for hours on end.  As usual, he claimed he could fix it.  He started in on it and of course made it worse than before he started.  Finally, I had enough and phoned the water board as it is their pipe.  They said they were in the area and would be right there.  This was 1430.  At 1730, they called to say they were by the co-operative store which is about 3 minutes away by car.  They finally showed up at 1930 in the pitch dark without a flashlight and no matches or newspaper.  They use the burning newspaper to melt the pipe so they can fit it over another pipe.

Tula was having a dinner party for her newly married granddaughter and husband, so I had to interrupt the party to go and hold the torch for the water board guys, give them matches and newspaper.  However, can't complain as they fixed the problem the same day when we had thought they would not show up until the next morning.

In the meantime, there was no water for 5 hours.  I had not had a shower and was attending the dinner in the evening, so I decided to take advantage for the rain that arrives every afternoon between 1400 and 1730.  It started raining nicely so I got out there with my soap and got lathered up.  Much to my chagrin there was a steady rain, but no downpour to wash the soap off.  I got underneath the broken down pipe and managed to get enough water to rinse off.  The rain abated so I gave up.  When it started raining again, I went out again to rinse off as I wasn't sure I had gotten all the soap the first time.  No downpour again, but enough of a rinse that I could dress and go to dinner.  Had a full shower before going to bed just in case.

Bathing in the rain was fun.  I have not done that since I went sailing with my friends Beth and Thom Wilson in the Bahamas in the late 1970s.  We had to bath in salt water and wait for the rain to rinse the salt off.

After all these years, I finally made it up to Michael's place at Samatha Suwaya.  It is a yoga/meditation/wellness centre started by Michael and Banthe Sujatha.  Michael built it from scratch.  It is lovely.  You can check it out on any of the big travel sites.

I have been making the usual trips to the dentist.  Two big pieces fell off one of my wisdom teeth.  I am losing my wisdom in bits.  I went to have it looked at and ended up with another root canal and two new crowns.  I was supposed to go for an extraction two weeks ago, but the poor dentist has dengue fever.  There is a real epidemic of dengue here again.  The hospitals are overflowing.

I managed to see Jenna a few times before she went back to the US after the weddings, including an overnight at my place.  Such an interesting woman.  She ghost writes, writes in her own right and travels all over.

Just for something different to do, I went to a fashion show and high tea at the Grand Kandyan.  The fashion show was crap, although the female models were real professionals.  The men looked scared and constipated.  The show was put on by a young woman whose parents own The Olive, a low grade clothing store.

Apart from a bad joke made by the Colombo based MC, who praised Kandyans for being on time; Kandyans are never on time.  Even in this case, the ticket said 1700.  They wouldn't even let us into the room until 1730 and people were streaming in even after the show began.  The highlight was the food and the unexpected friends I met there.

All yummy, but no strawberries to dip in the chocolate fountain.

Me with my friends Clare and Devika who I had planned to go with.  In front are Corrie who I met for the first time and Lillian.

It is surprising that I had no met Corrie before.  She has been living in Sri Lanka for almost a decade. Born to a Sri Lankan mother, she spent most of her life in Germany and returned to Sri Lanka when here husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's.  She felt that they could afford his care better here.  She built a magnificent house called Masada which her website, www.masada.lk describes as a Tuscan villa on the banks of the Mahaweli River.  It is indeed beautiful but she is quite isolated now that her husband is gone.

My friend, student and seamstress Anushka and her daughter Nuwangi were also there along with my computer guy, Chanaka.  It was nice to get out and see people.

My friend Rosalie is back for her second 3 month stint in Sri Lanka.  She is an American who spends 3 months in Kolkata, 3 months in Kandy, 3 months in California and 3 months in New Jersey.  She has been going to Kolkata for 19 years to teach destitute children in the slums there.  She has founded a charity called Empower the Children.  If you are interested in helping, you can go to their website empower-children.org.  She is one of those people who I feel I have known for years despite having only met her recently.  We have been going out for meals and watching movies.  It is so nice to talk to someone who shares similar cultural experiences.

All the rain has brought out the monsoon critters.  Some good, some bad, but all interesting.  The really bad ones are the leeches.  I have had two attach themselves to me, a few on my bed brought in by the cats.  I got one out of Putha's mouth before it latched on.  Nangi was bitten by one and got blood all over the place.  The other horrible ones are the scorpions and the centipedes.

This is a whip scorpion which is really a kind of spider.  Not venomous and therefore harmless to larger insects and animals but still scary ugly.

A stick insect.

Frogs of all sizes from almost invisible ones to large almost toad like things are all over the place.  You can hear them singing at night.  One was unfortunately killed by the cats and had to be disposed of.

Waiting to be chucked into the jungle.

I missed and he ended up suspended in the clove tree.

I managed to dislodge him from the clove tree with a broom only to have him land on the dieffenbachia below.  I gave up after that.  The ants and other scavengers took care of him.

I think this a half-toed gecko hiding behind a cabinet.

The monkeys have been at it as well, although they are too smart to come out in the pouring rain.

There are two mothers like this with very small babies still suckling.

The elephant ear caladium.

In flower.  The flowers look a lot like anthuriums.  Quite a few different caladiums in the garden are flowering.

The biling (tree sorrel) with more fruit.  The small green things hanging in the middle of the picture.  More pickles.

Gloriosa superba, Flame Lily.  Beautiful but deadly.  Every part of this plant is highly toxic and has been used to murder.

And concluding as always with all my lovely house pets.  You can skip this part Rod.

Buddy guarding his piece of fish.  Every time the Mahllu Man (fish vendor in a loud speaker equipped tuktuk) comes, both he and Tula give Buddy and Aya fish.  When they hear him coming they run like the wind to intercept him.

Tsweetie wants some fish too.  She get on very well with the cats.

All four bowls are occupied.

The firth bowl is taken by Nangi up on the counter.  I shouldn't let her do it, but I do.

Brothers in love.

Brothers from another mother.

Half of Buddy.

Three amigos.  Its cold in the rain.

Four in a row.

A rare visit from Baby with her two kittens.

It's too bright in here.

This is Boyfriend.  Tsweetie brought him home and he was hanging around a lot.  Like he lived here.  Keeping Tsweetie company, being fed by Tula, barking and scaring off the night critters.  Then he started to interfere with Tsweetie's food.  She growled and barked at him; something she almost never does.  Then his back end was glanced by a truck.  He went back to his own house to recuperate and has rarely been seen around since.

All five for the morning feed.

Heading off to Douglas King's 80th birthday party tonight.  Should be fun.

August 15 and 18, 2019 Michael and Rushma's Weddings

After many years of being together and quietly convincing Rushma's Muslim family that it was OK for her to marry an American Buddhist, my dear friends Michael and Rushma got married.  The legal ceremony took place months ago at the registry office, but August was the time for the two public ceremonies.

The first took place on Friday, August 15 in the evening starting at 1900.  A much more civilized time than the usual time of 0800 or 0900.  That was because this was the Muslim wedding.  Held at one of Kandy's nicest hotels, the Mahaweli Reach, the hotel really did a great job of building a pavilion outdoors.  Despite the rain, we were all dry and everything went off without a hitch, except the food which was crap.  I think the Muslim guests were happy as there were countless meat dishes, but the vegetarians were unimpressed.

As you entered, they had put potted branches with childhood pictures of the bride and groom decorating them.  A really nice touch.

The Order of Service

Our table.  From left to right:  Barbara, Michael's Mother, Eric, Michael's good friend since childhood and Jenna another of his good friends who all flew in from the US.

The Navy Pipers waiting to start their march.  Rushma's father is a retired Navy Admiral, so we were treated to not only the pipers but also the best military band in Sri Lanka.  The band looked particularly smart in their starched white uniforms.

The groom is brought in first accompanied by his party.  The tall guy in the middle is Nick, Michael's cousin and best man.  There were also two monks present, a thing unheard of at a Muslim wedding.  The short monk with the shiny head is Bhante Sujata, standing in for Michael's father who has passed away.

Now for the bride with Michael's Mother looking on.

Rushma being escorted by her father.

Sitting on the throne.

A chance to stand and move around.

Michael had this jacket especially tailored.  Great design.

A real runway model.

The head table.  They look so happy.  The woman on the far left in the light green sari came all the way from Germany.  She is Rushma's friend from university in Malaysia.

The cake.  It was a lovely chocolate cake that we thought we would be eating, but alas they did not put it out on the buffet. We got this terrible excuse for a cheese cake that saw more gelatin than cheese.

Eric, Michael's childhood friend from the US.

Jenna and Michael.  This was Jenna's third trip to Sri Lanka.  She is a true global citizen having lived in Germany and constantly traveling around the globe.  She has become a friend of mine as well.

Rushma's second outfit in the true muslim tradition, a lehenga always looks lovely.

The Friday gift.

So lovely to get a living thing.  It has now been planted in the garden.

On Sunday, August 18, it was on to the Buddhist wedding.  This was one of the best, if not the best wedding I have ever been to.  It was Buddhist in framework, but with all manner of innovation.  Organized by Bhante Sujatha, it was amazing and moving.

The invitation.

The invitation said 0900 and RSVP with regrets only.  I got a phone call from someone asking me if I was attending and asking me to be there by 0830 sharp.  I showed up at 0845 and apart from breakfast that those of us who were there gratefully partook in, nothing happened until after 1000.  Typical Sri Lanka.

Traditionally, the groom and bride are brought in separately by the Kandyan drummers and dancers.  Here they came in together.  The dance performance rivaled one you would see on the last night of the Perahera.

Both these weddings were a real testament to cultural harmony, something that is so important, but even more so since the Easter bombings.  The Sunday wedding was particularly so.  There was no traditional Buddhist ceremony.  There was a Barthya Nadyam dancer doing a traditional Indian dance to a Buddhist devotional song.  Apparently, she was telling the story of the song through the dance.

She was really lovely.

After the dance, there was a salute to the parents of the bride and groom.  This was done by Bhante Sujatha and was particularly moving with the Mohameds.

Michael's mother, Barbara receiving her tribute.  Her sari was draped Indian style for the Muslim wedding and Kandyan style for the Buddhist wedding.  Plus Michael is wearing full Kandyan dress.  More integration.

She was really moved.

Bhante Sujatha was responsible for it all..

After this, there was a salute from some monks.  Monks don't usually attend weddings.  There must have been 20 monks at this one including 4 from the US and 1 from Canada.

Some of therm were even enjoying themselves.  They must have taken a page from Bhante Sujatha's book.  He is very jolly and doesn't take himself as seriously as some of these self-important monks.

Then it was on to the vows which Michael and Rushma had written themselves in the true American style.

Michael is unusually serious

Receiving a blessing from Bhante Sujatha

Rushma was crying and so was I

Rushma delivering her vows.

After the vows, they received gifts from the monks including 9 gems from the monk who came from Ratnapura where most of Sri Lanka's gem stones are mined.  Apparently each gem has some significance as well as the fact that there are nine.

Instead of the usual fake boiling pot of kiri baht (milk rice) followed by feeding the same to the entire wedding party, they opened a young coconut palm flower.  I suppose to symbolize new life.

The unopened flower is the long green thing with the ribbon on it.  the other things are all food items and symbolize abundance.

This cake was all cupcakes of which we each received one.

Now for the official photos.

With Michael's family and close friends.

With the monks.

At this point, the wedding party got a break, but not the bride and groom.  It was on to the matrimonial throne for them and the taking of pictures with everyone present.

Flanked by Nick, Michael's cousin and best man.

Nick and his brother Matthew

With my friends, from left to right:  Amal, Lal, Lal's wife

With me

The cousins getting a bit of a break but still in full uncomfortable regalia.

The groom finally released from the throne.  One happy camper.

At this point the food was finally served.  The meal was excellent and was served unusually early for such events, so we weren't ravenous.  The bride and groom got to change as well.  A welcome relief for both of them I would think.

Back in their Friday night duds accompanied by Bhante Sujatha and Rushma's mother.

I left at this point as I was bagged.  There had been the wedding on Friday night, a co-opoly party at the Kawasaki's on Saturday and then the wedding on Sunday starting at 0830.  Plus Sunday was quite emotional, so I was really spent.  By 1400 I had had it.  It is a shame that I didn't stay as after my departure, there was a dance number reminiscent of Bollywood extravaganzas.  A full video is available on my FB page.  Unfortunately the person who recorded it marked it as private, so I am unable to copy it here.  The dancers were Michael in the middle with Rushma and another young woman.

Around this time, apparently some imams also arrived giving further support to the inter-communal nature of the event.  All this was down to the open nature of the bride and groom and their families.  Admittedly, the Mohameds looked reticent, but they went along.

Michael's family, from left to right:  Aunt Carol with her hand on Bhante Sujatha's shoulder (This in itself is almost unheard of as women are not supposed to touch monks), Michael's Mother Barbara.

Zahra Imtiaz and her husband, Rushma's Matron of Honour.  I first met Zahra and Rushma at the same time as they were always hanging out with Michael.  I thought Michael and Zahra were sweet on each other.  How wrong I was.

All together the nicest wedding(s) I have ever been to.  The Sunday event was topped off by the gift to guests of a living orange tree which I have happily planted in the lower side garden of my house.  When it grows, it will be easy to pick the fruit.