October 25, 2014

My little Dharma died today one year ago, so it is wonderful that Ferdinand came into my life just three days ago.  Like they say when a door closes, a window opens.

Introducing Ferdinand!

Yesterday was a trying day.  First of all Veenitha phoned saying she wasn't coming as she had to go to Colombo.  So I was on my own for the big kitchen clean up.  Then the plumber was supposed to come at 0800 to repair the new leaks in the guest bathroom and didn't show up.  His phone was off when I tried to call.  When I finally reached him at 1500, it turns out he was in Kurunagala.  Why don't they call and tell you these things?

Then the carpenter showed up to install the new front door lock.  He seemed to be making good progress until he broke the key off in the lock.  He failed to understand that once the key is broken in the lock, the only thing to do is drill the lock.  I finally managed to explain this to him at which point, he began drilling with a common wood bit.  It took me some time to explain to him that he needed a bit that would drill metal.  Finally, he went off to buy a new locking piece and a drill bit.  Meantime, we have the deluge of the century with lightning and thunder.  But to his credit he showed up despite the fact that I was sure he wouldn't.  He had left the front door off its hinges, so it was fairly critical.

He comes back with the drill bit, but it turns out that guys at the shop are just as ignorant as he is and sold him another wood bit which broke in short order.  It is a good thing he did not fuse all the electrics in the house while he was at it.  Even after that the thing would not come out.  We all worked on it for quite a while in the dusk now, so seeing was a bit of a problem.  Then I suggested that we flip the door and try from the other side.  Lo and behold, the son got it out in an instant after that.

Now I have a nice new door lock, but the unit is silver and the lock itself is gold.  I pointed this out to them saying that if the entire thing is silver, why would you get a gold lock.  They just stared at me.  So gold it will stay.  I am not taking the risk of changing it again and something going wrong.  A testament to Sri Lankan "skill".  Ha, ha!

A new hotel has opened in Kandy called the Grand Kandyan, owned largely by the ruling family.  We went to a concert and dinner the other night.  The lobby and the events floor are decorated like the inside of a Chinese bordello.  Here is just one example.  This is the grandfather clock that sits in the lobby.  Not like any grandfather I ever knew.

The chairs in the lobby would make Louis XIV blush they are covered in so much silver and gold gilt.  The chairs on the events floor are crushed red velvet with gold legs and crystal buttons.  Sonali and I are going to go back just to critique the decor.

The "concert" consisted of a local band, an impersonator who did Elvis, Michael Jackson, and Tina Turner.  Here's Tina.  He had pretty good legs, but his fishnets had a huge hole and run in them that he didn't seem to notice.  He was Sri Lankan but living in Germany.  He looked like the caste of men in India who are raised as women.  He probably had to move to Germany to come out and live a normal life.

Here we are waiting for the concert to start which was almost a late beginning.  We heard about it because Sonali's cousin was also performing.  It was terrible overall, but beggars can't be choosers.  After all this is Sri Lanka, and Kandy to boot.  Nothing ever comes here, so we take advantage of whatever comes along.

Lakshmi, Sonali's Mother and Sonali.

All the chairs were decked out like this. 

Even the most elaborate wedding planner could not come up with this.  They must be planning to cater to the Muslim wedding crowd.

The good news is that the buffet dinner included a sushi bar which was quite good with great sashimi.  Both Sonali and I spoke to the sushi chef so we can look forward to more sushi in the future.  Plus it turns out that Sonali knows the Chairman and General Manager of the hotel and even I have met him once, so he said he would arrange sushi whenever we want it.

I don't know if you can make out the back end of the elephant.  I got this on Katusgatota Road, the main drag close to my new place while buying my new commode (toilet).  This was the fourth day of toilet frustration.  I took the elephant to be a good omen.

Went to lunch at a friends house on Thursday.  She is Spanish from Majorca, married to a Sri Lankan guy.  Sandy, the husband, did all the cooking and it was fabulous.  Wonderful Spanish cheeses, smoked sheep and some kind of goat cheese, wine, a wonderful Spanish fritatta,  a great fish stew/soup and wonderful pudding for dessert.  The company was good too.

Then it was off to the Kawasaki's for what I thought was pie.  Turns out it was arugula pie which was actually lunch.  They had waited for me until 1630 with lunch, so I couldn't not eat.  So in the end, I had 2 lunches.  It never rains but it pours.

I got home late to find Ferdinand bursting at the seams to go to the bathroom.  I have gotten rid of the litter box after a day as they use plain sand here and it really stinks.  I was so proud of him for waiting for me to come home.  Then yesterday morning he shit in my bed.  Not so proud now.

October 21, 2014

Day two.  I got myself a pussy cat.  He is a kitten who I have named Ferdinand.  My friends the Kawasakis' cat found him and brought him home and now seems to have thought better of it.  I don't know how old he is, but I think too young to be fixed yet, but house trained.

Here's one for my feminist friends.  The university veterinary hospital will not neuter male cats, only females.  Males don't need it!  How's that for sexist?

No pics yet as he has just now come home and is hiding on one of the dining room chairs.

More later.

October 20, 2014

First night staying in my new place.  Not finished yet, but enough to stay overnight.

Got into the shower after another day cleaning only to think that the instant hot water wasn't working.  Discovered that it was operator error.  It came on after I fiddled with the knobs and got the right combination  Now showered and having a bite to eat.  Risotto courtesy of Sonali.

Am too pooped to write about all my adventures of the last few days.  Will do that tomorrow.

Just wanted to record my first night.

September 27 published October 13, 2014

Today’s excitement was a trip to the lumber yard. As I was moving, I discovered that the board that makes up the box of my bed had warped because the span between supports was too wide. The solution is to attach some slats and then lay the board over them. We needed wood for the slats.

There are lumber shops here, but not like in Canada. The wood is not uniform and it has been ripped but not planed let alone sanded. I thought that we would be going to one of these places where I would have to hunt and peck to fine 7 pieces the same size. Happily, we went to a saw mill that is located right in the middle of Katusgatota town. Zoning seems to be unknown here.

We give the specs for what we want. The carpenter came with me, or rather I went with him. Good thing too, as you will see. After giving the info in the office, we go into the yard to try to find something that fits the bill. The yard is like an ant hill. Huge mahogany logs awaiting cutting, some being cut, lorries waiting to be loaded with cut timber or the bark leavings, and everywhere swarming with workers. Wood is piled everywhere rather haphazardly so that the working area is becoming less and less.

Finally, we find some suitable wood which has been cut into planks. Despite the fact that we have given our requirements to the office and the man there has written it down, they try to give us just the planks as they are. I explain another 6 or 7 times what I want. Finally, they realize that I can’t be fobbed off, so we proceed into the cutting room to have the planks ripped, planed and cut to size.

Here is another sight. There are 2 stations both of which can perform all three functions. There are 3 workers; 2 manning one station, and one the other.  They are all in bare feet, no goggles, no ear protection, no hard hats, no gloves, no masks, and loose clothing to boot. A workers’ comp inspectior would have an apoplectic fit if they saw this.

There are piles of sawdust every where. Air ventilation, hah! They wouldn’t even know what you were talking about.

Now we start in on the planks. They start by cutting the plank in half. The first plank is just about 8¼” wide. The next plank is about 7”. They seem to think that is no problem, despite the fact that I asked for the slats to be 3½” wide. Next problem is the thickness. Although I might let them get away with the width, the thickness is crucial as this is for a bed box and I am like the Princess and the Pea, even the smallest speck keeps me awake, let alone sleeping on an undulating box. That is the very problem I am trying to fix.

So now I have to get them to plane the pieces. They have a mechanism that allows them to set the thickness, but they don't seem to understand what it does. So the first plank comes out close to the 1” that I want, but the second doesn't. So now it is back to the drawing board. I go into the cutting room, get them to give me a tape measure and show them on the tape measure the width I want on every plank. This happens 7 times. Now for the thickness. I get them to set up the machine for 1”. Great, the first plank comes out on the button. Before they put in the second plank, they start messing with the mechanism that controls the size of the cut. I go nuts. With sign language only, as no-one speaks English, I explain that they have to leave the thing at 1”. They look at me like I am crazy, but I am white and a woman, so they obey me. Now we are cooking with gas. Each plank comes out just right. However, I have to measure each one as it comes out of the planer to make sure. So another 7 measures.

Now it is time for the length. This the cutter seems to get. He even has the sense to make sure that the end from which he measures is square. If it isn't he cuts it square before measuring. Everything is going along great until we get to the 6^th plank. The cutter has cut one end square. Despite observing this process 7 times, the assistant gives him the non-squared end to do the measure. I watch this to see if any of the other 4 people who are standing around observing this pick it up. No-one does. So I wade into the sawdust once again, and tell them to flip the plank. They are incredulous, so I have to take the square ruler and show them that the end from which the measurement is being taken is not square. They all go aaaah!, nod and look at me like I am Albert Einstein. Not that they know who Einstein is.

 So after 1½ hours, we have the wood we need.

Now we are off to buy screws and door handles. First place we go, they have some handles, but no screws to go with them. The second place looks a lot more organized and I do in fact get what I want, but not until I have gone behind the counter and gone through every drawer to unearth what I need. Of course, the language barrier is a huge factor, but I am sure that even if I knew Sinhala, they would not get it as they have no clue about the product they are selling.

We load the slats into the tuktuk and off we go back to the ranch to do the install.

Moving the wood in the tuktuk

Miracle of miracle, the carpenter has a drill. Of course, he does not have an extension cord, so he gets one from my landlady. The slats have been brought into the bedroom by the carpenter's assistant, his son, who has laid them out in a configuration that is totally different from the one that I had explained at least 3 times the previous day and had drawn on a piece of paper as well. So I start rearranging them only to find that they are still covered with sawdust. So now, they have to be hauled outside to be brushed off. We get them back on the bed where I lay them out as they should be. They start at it. I do not hear any drilling, so I go to check. They are trying to screw the slats into the mahogany frame without pre-drilling. So I tell them they have to drill. Reluctantly, they start setting up the drill in the middle of my bedroom. I tell them they have to drill outside. So they grab a slat and start to head for the covered veranda which might as well be inside. I tell them they have to go into the garden. They don't understand why, but they obey.

After a lot more mucking around, that job is done and it is fine. Now for the door pulls. They start installing one on the veranda door which is mostly glass. I hear no drilling, and the next thing I is hear is pounding. I run to see what is happening before the pane of glass breaks. They are trying to nail in a screw. In the process they have damaged the pull as well. So back to the drawing board explaining about pre-drilling.

Next job is to put some sliding bolts on my bedroom door. They are working away, using the drill this time, so everything seems good. I go to inspect the work, and lo and behold, they have used some ripped up piece of cardboard under the slot. It looks like hell and will not hold once the bold is closed. So that has to come off and now I am looking for a deeper piece that will fit properly.

This all took from 0900 to 1600. I swear, I might as well have done it myself.

To be fair, that is not entirely true, as Veenitha and I did get 3 boxes emptied in that time, but I feel like a baby sitter.

I have had to putty the walls, paint, scrub like the lowliest char, install screening, do carpentry, fix roof leaks, supervise the plumber. I might as well open a vocational school.

October 13, 2014

I have been incommunicado for so many days, some people are sending me frantic messages asking if I am still alive.  Yes, alive and well.  The problem has been no proper internet access.  However, I am up an running now. 

It has been an eventful month and a half.  The last of the furniture was moved on September 4.  No problems there.  The lorry driver was great and everything was moved without damage except for a small ding on the housing of my washing machine.  No biggy.

The last fond memory of the papaya tree before it had to be cut down.  At least it yielded one piece of fruit.  It was tasty.

On September 7, it was the hand off of the keys to my bitch face landlady.  After giving me grief for moving the appointment up from 0900 to 1000, they showed up at 1100.  They came with 8 people including her ill behaved children.  Thank god I had Amal there.  I did not bother to introduce him, so they had no idea who he was.  He is 6' tall which is very tall for a Sri Lankan and has very fair skin.  Consequently, most Sri Lankans think he is a foreigner.  He said nothing.  Just sat watching them.

Bitch face starting checking every light bulb and light switch.  The place was spotless, however, she started picking out things that had preexisted my tenancy.  They were also making comments to each other in Sinhala.  Finally, Amal got on the phone to call his driver down from the car.  They could not park at the house as the road was being repaired.  He talked to him in Sinhala, of course.  The crowd almost fainted when he did that, as it became clear that he had understood everything they had been saying.

The driver came down and good thing too as he lent numbers to my side and he is a bit of a tough looking guy so he helped keep them in line.  At one point, the husband said that the downstairs bathroom was filthy.  Amal jumped on him saying he wished his bathrooms were that filthy.

All together the whole thing took over an hour for them to check everything.  At one point, I went back to lock a door when bitch face told me to just leave it open.  I told her that I was locking every door and not giving her any keys until my damage deposit has been returned in full.  That really set her off.  She started saying that they were not like that.  They were Sinhalese, etc., etc.  I just looked at her and said nothing.

There was one moment of terror when the pressure pump would not come on as I had not used it for a few days.  Finally, I reset it and it came on, so everything was OK.  She gave me my full damage deposit  back.  I took the money, gave her the keys and turned my back and left without a further word.  Amal said he had never seen anything like it.  It felt like a mill stone had been lifted from my neck.

Then the fun began at the new place.  It was filthy dirty.  It took Veenitha and I two days to just clean the windows in my bathroom.  The windows in my bedroom took 3 days.  The frames were a dark grey.  I thought they might have be painted, but after scrubbing like a drudge, it turns out the frames are white.

Of course, there have been the usual line up for so called tradesmen.  So far, I have been a carpenter, electrician, plumber, gardener, roofer, gas installer, concrete person, and general contractor. Basically, you can't leave these guys unsupervised for 5 minutes.

I thought I would be moved in by tomorrow, but no such luck.  Now the toilet in my bathroom is not operational and the guy can't come to fix it until Wednesday.  The flush mechanism is leaking because the gasket is buggered, the toilet is not bolted to the floor, so when you sit on it, you think it will slide out from under you, and the bolts connecting the cistern to the bowl are leaking.  Of course, Julia the plumber had to figure all this out herself.

Some progress has been made, however.  The kitchen, office, living room, my bedroom and closet area, my bathroom, the drivers toilet, and the washing machine have all been set up.  Next comes the dining room and then the guest bedroom and bathroom.  My friend Sandy Mackenzie is arriving on November 5, so I have to have his living quarters ready by then.

Meanwhile at Sonali's, I have been there on my own with the servants as she has been off working.  I come back exhausted from a day cleaning my place to her place where I have to sort out the servants and the dogs.  We have had two snake incidents.  Both times vipers.  There are a lot of frogs around because of the rains and the snakes love to eat them.

This one had just eaten a frog when Paramasivam killed it.  The second one, I stepped on walking to the kitchen.  I had a fit, orfcourse.  The female lab, Sita, who sticks to you like a limpid, was walking right beside me and immediately got her nose into the snake.  Luckily, it was more scared of us than we were of it, so instead of biting, it took a powder and went out through the kitchen window.  I had every piece of furniture in the kitchen moved and all the cupboards emptied looking for the thing.  At least the kitchen got a good cleaning.

The only critter sighting at my new place, which is called Green Fields Villa, has been a lovely female cat that I have named Patches.  I was hoping to entice her in, but I think she lives somewhere else and just comes to mooch food.  Plus, she was over the other day so I gave her a bowl of milk only to find out later from Veenitha that she got into the driver's toilet and pooped there.  I had the door to the toilet fixed so it would close, and now Patches gets patted, but nothing else.

I will go and get a cat from Sonali's uncle's dog and cat rescue.  At least there I am doing something charitable.

I hope to be moved in by Saturday this week.  Now that I am back on line, I will keep the blogs more regular.